3 weeks ago
“Technically he was there. We ate dinner together every night. But he wasn’t exactly ‘available.’ He’d go on these long trips alone—to Peru, and China, and Mexico. And even when he was home, we’d only do things together that he found fun. He enjoyed linguistics. And etymology. And architecture. He was always telling us that houses should be circular because it’s the most efficient shape. But we were just kids. We weren’t interested in that stuff. We wanted to watch cartoons and play baseball. And that’s the stuff he didn’t show up for. It wasn’t malicious. He grew up in The Soviet Union. And his father was a heavy alcholic, so he didn’t know any better. There was nowhere for him to learn parenting skills. When I was thirteen my parents got a divorce. My father finally got his own apartment and his solitude. But suddenly his kids weren’t readily available. We were living separate lives, so he had to learn to initiate. He had to express a desire for companionship. It was very difficult for him at first. He’d use a lot of sarcasm. Instead of saying: ‘Can we eat dinner together?’ He’d say: ‘You can’t cook. You need my help.’ He began to manufacture reasons for us to be together. A couple years ago I got a text from him saying that he’d bought a plot of land. Apparently he’d been watching a lot of YouTube videos, and he was ready to build his circular house. But he needed our help. We’ve been working on it for over a year now. We laid the foundation ourselves. We cut down all the trees. It’s been a lot of work. But more importantly—it’s been a lot of time together. There’s still a sarcastic hint over everything. There’s a lot of: ‘Come over here so I can show you how to do it.’ But we’ve also had some deeper conversations. When we’re in the middle of building, and we need to break the silence. He’s learned to be more direct. He’ll tell me about problems he’s having. He’ll ask for advice. And he’ll even ask for companionship. A few months ago we were finishing up for the day, and he told me: ‘I know you’re busy, but if you come over and watch a little TV with me, especially during the winter—it would help me a lot. Because I’m completely alone in that apartment.’”
@ericcroceeee this reminds me of someone!
This made me tear up.
Coincidentally I saw a circular house on Zillow this morning and thought how strange but cool is this??! And now I’m reading this! Lol I wonder if it’s the same house?! I can tell you the scenery sure looks the same!
This moved me so much. Communication is everything and if we understand how our loved ones try to connect then we can get it. You cut through a lot of work by understanding him so well and going with it to get to that common place ❤️
That last line .........💞💞💞💞💞
Sounds like an awesome guy with aspergers
@ckarin @sa12ah_
I still think about this story a lot
Okay but how are all three of his sons so attractive
Love this story ❤️
Thank you for this one. ✨
That’s going to be a well made house...
First of all... i cant wait to see the finished product of that house 💫
@maidaomd felt this one
I wanna see the finished product!!!!
The smiles in that last pic says so much. ...